I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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