I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
