i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
