I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
