I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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