I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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