but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize