i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We named our party play list daddy issues
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
