After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
