I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
