Define "chronic" masturbator.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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