Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
