he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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