two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
