what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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