hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
40s are totally the cure
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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