where am i from again
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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