Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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