Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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