Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
