Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Your face is a jimmy john
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My life is pants optional.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
