oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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