My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
