I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
