There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When are your genitals available?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
