8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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