I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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