i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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