so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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