hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
