i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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