i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She swung at the pinata with crutches
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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