just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
