I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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