dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
