i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
