we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize