Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
