I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
