You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
