my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
