I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
smell my finger.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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