guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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