I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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