For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize