dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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