Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
