I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
