is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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