yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
