UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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