Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
