Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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