Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
