You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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