mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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