K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Randomize
