So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
