imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
