is your mom at the bar?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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