From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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