Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You made out with two different species that night
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
