I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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