it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
