It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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